Matchmakers: Operation Break Up
by Inspired by a Kiss
Summary: Gypsy Carmichael and Sirius Black have a deal. Together, they're going the bring Hogwarts' newest Golden Couple down for their own personal gain. Only, things never go the way they want to... and certain feelings are unexpected. SiriusOC, LilyJames
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I wish I owned Sirius Black… but sadly, he's all J.K Rowling's, together with everything from the Harry Potter-world.

**Chapter One**

Gypsy Carmichael couldn't wait to get back to school. Lightly rocking back and forth on her heels, she scanned the crowd of twittering students and parents impatiently. Her mother hadn't been able to cancel work today, so Gypsy had come to the station without an escort. It didn't bother her, not really anyway, but it did make her feel incredibly bored.

A shudder ran over her spine as her eyes paused on the four Marauders, huddled together, laughing and sneaking glances over their shoulders as if they were scared that somebody was listening in. There was no doubt in Gypsy's mind that they were already discussing some prank to open the new year with. A small smile crossed her lips when she thought about last year's, when the Marauders had somehow managed to change all Slytherin colors in the Great Hall to red and gold, with as an extra a couple of lions roaring on top of the Slytherin tables, scaring Bellatrix Black so much that she'd fallen backwards and flashed the entire Hall her knickers.

Gypsy frowned as she saw the person she was thinking about stepping on to the train, followed by Rabastan Lestrange and a couple of others, including Severus Snape and Regulus Black. There was a rumor that Bellatrix was already engaged to Rodolphus Lestrange, Rabastan's older brother, who had graduated two years earlier, and was reputed to be a side-kick of the new and quickly rising Dark wizard called Voldemort.

Somehow, Gypsy pondered, that didn't surprise her one bit from the sadistic ass who'd almost been expelled for trying out Unforgivables on spiders and other little animals.

Suddenly, her eyes lit up as she caught sight of her best friend and secret crush, Jason Carter. A fellow Gryffindor, he looked good after the two months of holiday, tanned and lean, smiling down at…

…Lily Evans?

Immediately, Gypsy backed up till her back hit the wall, suppressing a gasp of surprise when she noticed the linked hands between the Gryffindor Seeker and the new Head Girl. What...? Thoughts tumbled over and over in her head, she was surprised and scared and angry and what the hell was he doing holding Lily's hand?

He would've told his best friend if he had a girlfriend… wouldn't he?

"Hey, Gyp!" Jason called out, his dark blue eyes shining with happiness as he tugged an equally happy-looking Lily along with him. "How was your summer?"

A light pounding started up in Gypsy's head. She couldn't avert her eyes from the linked hands in front of her, the way Jason was tenderly stroking Lily's wrist with his thumb, the way—

"Gyp?" Jason waved a hand in front of her. "You okay?"

Gypsy blinked slowly, focusing on the grinning boy in front of her. "Um…"

Thanks to what was probably interference by God, Lily spotted her best friend Shannon White chattering it up with another girl from their dormitories, Ellie Carter, who was also, incidentally, Jason's twin sister. Kissing Jason goodbye – Gypsy's eyes almost bulged out of their sockets at the undeniable proof – she disappeared in a whirlwind of red hair and flowery perfume.

Gypsy saw Jason's eyes filling with longing as he stared after his girlfriend. She'd never actually experienced heartache before, but now it felt as if something sharp was stabbing right through the thing that kept her alive. As if in a daze, she noticed that Jason had turned back to her, grinning down at her.

Gypsy knew she probably looked like an idiot, but something had frozen inside her, something that kept her incapable of uttering a single word.

Jason frowned in confusion, his forehead wrinkling together. Gypsy's heart seemed to skip a beat. Her best friend had always looked adorable whenever he was thinking about something.

"Gypsy?" he asked once again. "What's wrong? Did something happen over the summer?"

Like I wouldn't have told you in a letter, then, Gypsy thought irritably. She shook her head slowly, finally snapping out of it. "Er… no. Sorry. I didn't get much sleep last night."

"Oh, all right." Jason looked relieved and ruffled Gypsy's hair affectionately. "I've missed you, squirt. How was Egypt?"

"Oh, great…," Gypsy replied distantly.

He'd ruffled her hair. Gypsy tilted her head slightly to the right, thinking. Her older brother had done that a lot, before he'd moved to America. On the other hand, it _was _an affectionate touch, and people who liked other people also liked to touch them a lot. Then again, Jason'd also called her a squirt just now. He _had _missed her though, he'd just said so.

So the conclusion was…

Gypsy gave herself a mental slap. She'd started this the year before, investigating every single thing that Jason did or said, for it might just mean that he liked her as more than a friend. It was a habit completely useless, now that he had a girlfriend.

Lily Evans. Gypsy felt inexplicably sorry for herself. Walling with a lot of pizza and candy (screw the extra calories!) had never seemed this attractive. Why couldn't Jason have picked some other girl, _any_ other girl? It was simply impossible for Gypsy to compete with Lily Evans, the beautiful, smart, nice Head Girl who probably also responded to Gryffindor's princess, the nickname James Potter had given her in fifth year.

Gypsy wanted to go huddle in a corner somewhere and cry.

Sadly enough, the things she wanted and the things she got never appeared to be the same. She would just have to cope with it, right? Mentally prepping herself up, she gave Jason a weak smile and said in the most casual manner, "So, you and Lily, eh?" She'd rather than die than embarrass herself even more.

Jason shrugged, but he couldn't hide the faint blush spreading across his cheeks. "Yeah. We met a couple of times over the summer and decided to make it official before returning—" he gestured around, smiling sheepishly "—well, here."

"Oh, er, that makes sense." Gypsy nodded enthusiastically, tucking a strand of rebellious blonde hair back behind her ear. "That's… nice." Pause. "Lily's nice," she added.

_Great way to point out the obvious, idiot, _she angrily thought.

"She's great," Jason agreed, shooting another longing glance in the redhead's direction.

Already, Gypsy felt like a third wheel, and Lily wasn't even standing with them! "Um, I'm going to go board the train," she said awkwardly, although the train wouldn't leave for another ten minutes. "I'll see you in a bit?"

Jason was already moving towards Lily, the blonde streaks in his golden brown hair shining brilliantly under the sun's influence. "Of course," he replied absently over his shoulder, but Gypsy had a hunch that he was going to sit with Lily instead. Or maybe bring her over to their compartment. Gypsy wondered which one would make her feel more miserable.

She hated herself for falling in love with her best friend. It was so cliché, so _pathetic _that it made her want to scream. To think that she'd actually wanted to tell him this year… her overactive mind had already presented her with countless images of Jason telling her that yes, he loved her too, in fact, he'd loved her since the day they'd met, and oh, I have my mother's engagement ring right here, would she do him the honor of marrying him?

_Mrs. Gypsy Carter._

She smiled dazedly, until she caught Jason and Lily embracing quite passionately, apparently not ashamed that they were right in the middle of a crowded platform. Well, that was a reality check, at the very least.

_Mrs. Lily Carter._

Gypsy wanted to growl.

A milli-second later, she was abruptly removed from her depressive ponderings, when out of nowhere a pair of hands latched on to her shoulders, turning her around only to grab her waist and lift her in the air. Gypsy let out a tiny scream in surprise.

"Sirius Black!"

His eyes glittering with amusement, he winked at her from under his pitch-black fringe of hair. "Gypsy Carmichael!" he mocked. Dropping her back down, he smirked at her with the pearly white teeth that wouldn't do bad at all in any _Colgate _commercial.

Gypsy smacked him lightly on the arm. "You scared me," she reprimanded him.

"Sirius has made it his personal mission to twirl every hot Gryffindor girl present," Remus Lupin said dryly from Sirius's left. "I think he hopes that one will automatically fall at his feet and beg him to have his way with her."

Gypsy laughed and blushed at the same time, pleased with the off-handed compliment. She'd always liked Remus. Quiet, most of the time, but also capable of a dry humor that reminded her a bit of Jason's.

James Potter came up from behind the two others. "You better keep your paws away from my Lily-flower," he said warningly, momentarily blinding Gypsy with the way the sun reflected on his glasses.

A stab of hurt shot through Gypsy once again, the smile freezing on her face. Clearly, James didn't know yet. Should she tell him? He was a friend of hers, all the Marauders were, but still… No one wanted to be the deliverer of bad news, especially not bad news that Gypsy wanted to avoid thinking and talking about. Maybe if she pretended it had all been a dream…

"Where is she, anyways?" James looked around impatiently.

Peter Pettigrew, the smallest of the bunch, glanced around as well. He was the first to notice what Gypsy already knew, but tact had never been his strongest point, and nudging James, he said, "Over there! With Jason Carter."

For a moment, Gypsy felt as if she was in a movie. Whenever something really, really bad is going to happen, the main character often sees things moving in slow-motion, unable to stop them from happening. That was exactly how Gypsy felt, as she saw the way James's eyes lit up, a happy smile came to his face, right before he turned around…

…and went slack-jawed.

There was one second of blessed silence before he exploded. "_What_?" he bellowed, making Gypsy cringe.

Remus and Sirius, curious (and slightly scared in anticipation) as to what was the reason of their friend's angry outburst, turned around as well. Remus made a sympathetic noise, while Sirius merely blinked in surprise and rubbed his eyes as if to check that they still worked correct.

James's mouth opened and closed a couple of times, closely impersonating a fish. If Gypsy hadn't felt so miserable herself, she'd have felt sorely tempted to snicker. At last, James opened his mouth and sputtered, "This can't be happening." He actually _paled _in disbelief.

Gypsy fully agreed with him. She gave him an awkward pat on the back.

"Bad luck, Prongs," Sirius added. "But don't worry about him yet, all right? Jason's a git—" Gypsy gasped, offended "—and Lily'll figure that out sooner or later. " He shrugged. "She'll come running to you before you know it."

Gypsy snorted, disagreeing. Jason was wonderful; no girl in her right mind would ever run from him. He'd been one of the only ones who'd stuck up for her on her first day, now exactly three years ago, when a couple of Slytherins had thought it hilarious to make fun of her name and her Muggle-born status. They'd cornered her in an empty compartment, until Jason had walked by, efficiently scaring them off by threatening to get a prefect. Ever since then, he'd taken Gypsy under her wing, introducing her to everyone and defending her when necessary. A git didn't do things like that.

Sometimes, Gypsy regretted that she'd only gone to Hogwarts since her fourth year. Before that, she'd lived in France with her father, going to Beauxbatons, until he'd been transferred to America for his work. Her mother didn't want her daughter to move that far – France had been far enough – and had won the court case for Gypsy's custody, effectively forcing her to move to England. Gypsy had thrown a real tantrum, but it hadn't mattered, and now she was glad it hadn't. Hogwarts was the best. She felt more at home there than anywhere else.

No matter how idiotic Gypsy thought Sirius's words were, James seemed to have found some comfort in them. "Yeah," he said finally. "Sure. I mean, why wouldn't she come running at me?" He glared at Jason's back. "I'm way better-looking and the guy's a bore."

Gypsy smacked him. "Hey!" she protested.

James and Sirius looked at her in befuddlement, until a light bulb appeared to flip on simultaneously. James curled back his lip in a sneer. "Traitor."

She huffed and flipped him off. Sirius snickered, casually draping his arm over her shoulder as he whispered in her ear, "How 'bout we get on the train before James decides to let out some of that frustration on his new enemy's best friend?"

Nodding in agreement, Gypsy shrugged her shoulders back so that Sirius's arm fell to his side. She did her best to lift her heavy trunk up, letting out a relieved sigh when Sirius and Remus helped her. A smile stretched across her face as she looked at the two boys. If Jason would abandon her on this train ride, at least she still had the four Marauders to entertain her.

No one could ever say they were boring.

-

"I'm bored," Sirius whined pitifully, trying to stretch his long legs. He accidentally kicked Peter in the shins, who gasped in pain. Sirius smiled apologetically, poking Remus, engrossed in a thick book about non-verbal spells, in the side. "Whatcha reading?"

Remus, who knew that the best way to keep Sirius quiet when he was in this state of mind, merely ignored him and read on.

Growling in annoyance, Sirius turned to the only girl sitting in the compartment. Gypsy was dozing in the window seat, her feet tucked under her bum and her face resting against the window. One stubborn strand of golden hair hung in front of her eyes, reaching the tip of her nose. It had the color of a Galleon, Sirius thought absently. Didn't it tickle? Leaning over, he lightly removed the piece of hair, tucking it back behind Gypsy's ear, where it belonged.

Suddenly feeling faintly embarrassed, he stole a quick glance around the compartment, only to see that Peter was still staring into nothingness and that Remus was still solely focused on his book. James was at the prefect's meeting. Sirius suppressed a snicker as he thought about how Lily would react when she found out that James had been made Head Boy. The girl had probably hoped that Remus, or even better, her new boyfriend, would've gotten the title.

Well, wasn't she in for a rude awakening?

A disturbance outside in the corridor caught Sirius's attention. He stood up to pull aside the curtains he'd charmed with the Gryffindor colors, but before he could do that the door had already opened. To Sirius's great amusement, James, Lily and Jason were standing outside arguing. He just heard the end of Lily's sentence.

"—can't believe Dumbledore would make you Head Boy!"

The tiredness in the faces of both James and Jason told Sirius that she'd been raving for a while now. Rolling his eyes, he grabbed James by the collar and pulled him into the compartment. Smirking at Lily's stunned expression – she obviously wasn't used to being interrupted – he gave them a cheery salute, moving to close the door once again.

A foot stopped it, effectively blocking the door. Jason's face appeared in the space that was still free and as if someone had given a sign, the heads of the four Marauders snapped up at once, glaring at Jason in perfect synchronization. Although Peter's glare looked more like a squint, they still succeeded in their attempt, Jason backing off a bit.

"Er," he started. "Can we sit here? Everywhere else is full and I promised Gypsy I'd sit with her."

James opened his mouth, ready to snarl at the jackass to go crawl back in whatever pit he came out off, but Sirius stopped him.

"Of course you can sit here," Sirius said, smirking much too widely to have innocent intentions. Lily visibly recoiled from Sirius's attempt at innocence, but before she could stop him, her boyfriend had already sighed in relief and said "Cool" before stepping in.

James shot Sirius a warning glance. "This better be good, Padfoot," he muttered under his breath.

The dangerous glint in Sirius's grey eyes told him all he needed to know.

-

Gypsy woke up the second Jason entered their compartment. Her eyelids fluttered open for a moment, before closing again as she saw Lily coming after him. It was easier to pretend to sleep. Besides, if she had her eyes closed, she wouldn't have to see all the PDA. The hairs on the back of her neck prickled, standing on end. She shifted uneasily. _It's probably because Jason's looking at you_, she tried to convince herself, although she'd never felt anything like this when around him before.

"She's been… sleeping for the past hour," Sirius said, eyeing Gypsy up and down. He could tell she was awake. Her posture was much too stiff, too tensed compared to how relaxed she'd been a couple of minutes before. Plus he'd seen her open her eyes, if only for a second. Not like he cared, either way. If she – for whatever reason – wanted to hide from Lily or Jason, he wasn't going to tell on her.

There were more important things to be done now anyways.

He shared a mischievous glance with James (who couldn't wait for what was coming), winked at a slightly disapproving Remus (who'd caught on the second Padfoot had invited the couple in) and ignored Peter (who had no idea what was going on anyway).

Showtime.

It didn't take five minutes for a panicky Jason to run away from the compartment, as bald and hairless like a Siamese kitten, followed by a shrieking Lily, who'd already deducted twenty points from Gryffindor before the year had even officially started. James was doubled over laughing.

A satisfied smile stretched across Sirius's face. "Not one of my best," he admitted, shooting the now suddenly wide-awake Gypsy a cheeky grin. "But you should see the way he obsesses about his hair every morning. Takes up my mirror spot for almost a whole damn hour, while that mop he calls hair is a lost cause anyways. It was about time that I teached him a lesson."

"Can't he just grow the hair back with a counter spell?" Remus asked, interested.

"Oh yeah. Only he'll find that his hair'll be ten times as long as it was before and that cutting won't help a thing. He'll soon find it in his best interest to just shave it all of again because it has to grow back naturally." Sirius casually arranged his own hair so that it fell in front of his eyes in the way that made girls swoon. "Jason should have known better." He mock-sighed. "Going after a dorm mate's future girlfriend is just a big no-no."

"Yes, quite the disaster," Remus stated dryly. "What is the world coming to?"

Sirius nodded solemnly. "Indeed, dearest Moony, indeed."

Gypsy didn't know whether to laugh or cry. She'd loved Jason's hair and was slightly angry with Sirius for cursing it all of, but she did appreciate his reasons for doing so. You could say a lot things about Sirius Black, but not that he wasn't loyal to his friends.

A part of her wanted to run after Jason to tell him about what she knew about the curse – he _was _her best friend after all – but the jealous part of her knew she couldn't handle seeing Lily fuss over him. What if she did something dumb and embarrassing like throwing a fit? It wouldn't be the first time.

Sighing, she drooped lower on her seat. They weren't even at Hogwarts yet, and already she had the feeling that this year would be nothing like the ones before.

-

**AN**: First HP fanfic EVER. Sirius is damn hard to write. Was it good? Did it suck? Was anyone terribly OOC? Review, please! Oh, and sorry for the stupid mistakes probably in there. English isn't my first language. Also, I know Bellatrix Black is seven years (or something) older than Sirius and shouldn't be in this story at all… but I love her, she's such a good psychotic villain, so I couldn't resist having her in the same year as the Marauders and Gypsy are.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

Gypsy's stomach grumbled so loudly that a blush quickly spread across her cheeks. She tried to glance around inconspicuously, to see whether or not someone had noticed, but it was already too late. Snickering in amusement, Jason tousled her hair even more than it already was, saying, "Someone's hungry."

Lily giggled, leaning into her boyfriend's arms. "Can't blame you," she said to Gypsy. "I'm starving as well."

Gypsy smiled back, suddenly having lost her appetite. She had no idea how to go with this. Lily Evans had been her roommate since the day she'd entered Hogwarts, but they'd never been exactly what people called close. Lily had always been busy with the dueling club, her prefect duties, maintaining her excellent grades by studying hard, and rejecting James Potter. And now, she was sitting on the other side of the table, only a couple of feet away from Gypsy. Something told Gypsy that it wouldn't be the last time that she'd have to eat with them.

It wasn't fair, Gypsy thought gruffly. Somehow, Lily had managed to fit the perfect boyfriend in her tight schedule, while Gypsy, who had no extracurricular activities at all, hadn't had a boyfriend since her failed attempt with Joshua Jameson in fifth year. That relationship had ended the moment she'd caught Joshua cheating on her with another boy. He'd come out of the closet a week after, and ever since then, Gypsy was known as the girl who'd made Joshua Jameson turn gay.

"I don't get it." Jason tried to run a hand through his hair, then scowled as he remembered that Sirius Black had cursed it all off. Muttering some profanity under his breath, he continued, "We only just got off the train. You could've eaten all the candy you wanted there. Don't tell me you girls are bottomless pits."

Lily swatted at his arm, but in an endearing way that made Gypsy's stomach turn. "Shut up, you. I like to eat a bit healthier than Chocolate Frogs, thank-you-very-much."

"And _I _was asleep," Gypsy added. _If you even noticed._ "Besides," she sighed, "everything fattening goes straight to my boobs anyway." She stared down at the two offending things moodily, before blushing as she realized exactly what she had said. It was too late anyway. Both Jason and Lily had already dropped their eyes, almost unconsciously, before snapping them back up in shame.

"Zamara, Zahra."

"GRYFFINDOR!"

The two girls and the boy sighed, relieved at the opportunity to change the subject, and started clapping and hooting along with the others. Dumbledore stood up and clapped his hands together, as always saving the speech for after dinner. Gypsy started filling her plate happily. No one talked much while they were eating, so she had some time to think.

It would've been different had Lily been in Ravenclaw or Hufflepuf, she pondered. Then they would have sat at different tables, and then they wouldn't have had to share a common room or a dormitory. It was horror to watch the girlfriend of the boy you were in love with all the time.

Unless…

Gypsy swallowed her bite of chicken. "Is it true that the Head Boy and Girl get their own private quarters and common room?" she asked, addressing Lily.

Jason and Lily both scowled. "Unfortunately, yes," Lily replied, dropping her fork. She'd lost her appetite at the subject of sharing a room with James Potter for the rest of year. How she would survive, she had no idea.

Gypsy's heart seared.

"Thanks Merlin for Jase," Lily said next, casting her boyfriend a loving smile. "He's already agreed to keep me company as much as possible. I wouldn't know what to do if I was left alone with James and his friends every evening!"

Gypsy dropped her fork as well and sighed. She just couldn't get a break. Taking a sip of her pumpkin juice, she glanced around the Great Hall. When they'd entered, she'd actually held a free spot for the two people she hung out with the most at Hogwarts – aside from Jason, of course – but Jason had wrongly assumed that they'd been meant for him and Lily.

Jessica Ford and Ellie Carter had chosen to sit by the Marauders instead, and Gypsy looked at them in jealousy. As always, Jessica and Sirius were outrageously flirting, and Ellie was talking to Remus and Peter. James was the only one who didn't seem to be having a good time. Every couple of seconds, he'd look over at Lily, only to see that she was still attached to her boyfriend, and then he'd proceed with stabbing at his mashed potatoes.

Gypsy felt almost relieved after the meal had ended and Dumbledore started his speech. She couldn't wait until they were in the common room so she could catch up with the others. Lily'd never liked to stay up late if Gypsy remembered it well, so the Head Girl would probably head off to her own dormitories immediately, which meant that Jason would be able to hang out with them as well.

Gypsy was fairly convinced that she could pretend that Jason didn't have a girlfriend if said girlfriend wouldn't be present.

Which meant that they could finally start having some _fun _too. She'd never had a more depressing first day than this one.

The scraping of the chairs around her removed her from her daze, and she followed the other Gryffindors, trying to push past some of them to get to Jess and Ellie. On the way there, she passed a couple of Slytherins. Cat-calls and whistles were heard, as well as some crude language. Gypsy cringed and hurried on.

Right there was another reason for Gypsy to be jealous of Lily Evans. And not only of Lily, but of her other girl friends as well. While Lily was stunning with her long, straight red hair and brilliant emerald eyes, and was pretty much able to wear anything and still pull it off as 'classy', Gypsy had to do her best _not _to look like a hooker.

Gypsy had what people called a 'voluptuous' body. She just called it a pain in the ass. With her long, blonde hair, big blue eyes, pouty lips and round forms (a bit _too _round in the chest area), she had quite a bit in common with the Muggle-actress Pamela Anderson. Gypsy had no desire whatsoever to become a pin-up and would just about kill someone to look a bit more normal, instead of a girl that came straight out of a photo shoot in _Playboy_.

The way she looked attracted a lot of negative attention. Slytherins were always crude towards her, convinced that she was a slut, and she'd heard Hufflepufs gossiping about her too. She had no idea what the Ravenclaws were saying, but the way some of them looked at her with disdain in their eyes, as if they had judged her already, didn't make her too optimistic about their opinion.

Gypsy'd give just about anything to look a bit more girl-next-door, like Ellie Carter. Or well, classy, like Lily Evans. Even Jessica, with her shortened uniform-skirt and skintight shirts always managed to look more innocent than Gypsy in her largest sweater and jeans. It was hopeless, really. Nothing could hide her curves.

Maybe if she died her hair brown she'd look a bit more inconspicuous…?

Gypsy caught her bottom lip between her teeth. Huh. Now _there _was an idea. Beaming, she started up the staircase, stuck between a couple of giggling fifth years following the Marauders, and some guys who wouldn't stop staring at her ass.

_Maybe I should get a lipo as well. _

She got the passport from a prefect and rapidly climbed through the portrait hole, anxious to see her friends. She felt slightly guilty for not seeking them out on the train, but better late than never. The common room was almost empty, many people exhausted from the long train ride, but Jess, Ellie and Shannon were still sitting in front of the fire place, chatting with the Marauders. Gypsy bounded over to them.

"Hey, guys!" she said brightly, her mood lightening up within seconds. She gave Sirius Black a shove and fell down between him and Jessica. "How've you been?"

"Ah, the prodigal daughter returns," Jess said sarcastically, but the humor shining in her eyes betrayed her. "I thought we'd never get to see you."

Gypsy shrugged, her cheeks coloring slightly. She asked about everyone's summer, and before long half an hour had passed, everyone telling everyone about their adventures. Gypsy knew about those of the Marauders already, having spent the train ride with them, but she wasn't bored listening to them for a second time. Sirius and James were enthusiastic and expressive, never monotonous, and Remus had a nice, low voice that slightly growled at the beginning of words sometimes. It was pretty sexy.

"What happened to the opening Slytherin prank this year?" Ellie suddenly asked, changing the subject from everyone's vacation to the present. "I was looking forward to it, but nothing happened."

Jess eyed the Marauders suspiciously. "You aren't getting soft, are you?" She tossed back her pitch-black hair, annoyed. "You should've warned me. I'd have loved to plan a prank and take over the tradition."

"Why?" Sirius' eyes glittered in amusement. "We'd get the credit for it anyways. No one'd believe you if you pranked someone. You're a bore."

Jess gasped, pretending to be offended. "Say that again."

"So you can punish me?"

Jess shot him a flirtatious smile. "You'd love it."

"Would I? What sort of punishment did you have in mind?" Sirius leaned forward, bending over Gypsy to put his hand on Jessica's knee, smiling suggestively.

Jess leaned forwards as well, placing her lips at his ear. "I would…"

"Yes?" Sirius' voice was low and lazy. He was using his bedroom-voice.

"I would… chop off your balls and feed them to the Giant Squid, you wanker." And she smacked Sirius on the back of his head.

The whole group burst out laughing. Sirius placed his hands on his chest, pretending to die of heartbreak. "You wound me, Jessica Ford."

Jess smiled back sweetly. "You disgust me, Sirius Black."

Gypsy laughed with the rest of them. Jess and Sirius always acted like this. One minute, they'd be flirting without any shame, and the next would be one of them brutally shooting down the other. When they'd gotten together back in sixth year, Gypsy had been convinced that they'd marry one day. That was before Sirius and Jess had both found out they weren't capable of staying faithful to one another. As good as the two of them looked together; they still hadn't managed to succeed in their relationship. They'd parted as friends and things had gone back to the way they were before without a single change.

Well, aside from the fact that they would sometimes take potty shots at one another on how they were in the sack, that is.

"What Sirius was meant to say," Remus said as everyone stopped laughing, "is that we saved the Slytherin prank for tomorrow at breakfast."

James grinned in happy anticipation. "What better way than to start the day with a couple of slimy gits singing—"

"Hey!" Sirius shoved James so hard that he fell out of the couch. "No telling!"

James retaliated by pouncing on James, effectively throwing the both of them on the floor. Gypsy rolled her eyes up at the ceiling as the two boys started a very 'manly and adult' wrestling match. Boys were so predictable.

"So," Jess leaned forward, waggling her eyebrows. "Where's Jason, Gyp? He looked mighty fine earlier on the platform."

Gypsy looked at Jess in horror. Aside from being one of her best friends, Jess was also the only one who had figured out the way Gypsy felt about Jason. Jess had a hard time keeping her mouth shut sometimes, and if she hinted—

"Probably off in a corner somewhere, snogging Lily senseless." Shannon snorted in amusement. "Seriously, those two are so attached to the hip it's almost sickening."

"Yeah, I noticed that on the train," Ellie said, absently braiding her dark brown hair. "I walked in on them in the bathroom. It was kind of gross."

Gypsy jerked a bit, her muscles tensing. She did _not _want to hear this.

"You're kiddin' me." Jess snickered, but her eyes quickly sought Gypsy out, a worried glint in them. "Jason and Lily? What are they thinking? They're about as compatible as Brad and Jennifer."

Shannon tossed back her long auburn hair, green eyes glittering as they locked on Jess. While they did hang out occasionally, Shannon and Jess weren't big fans of one another, ever since Tommy Chace had dumped Shannon to hook up with Jess instead back in fourth year.

"What's your problem?" Shannon said, challenging. "Brad and Jennifer were like, the best couple."

"Who're Brad and Jennifer?" Sirius intercepted.

Jess and Shannon ignored him. "Famous Muggle-couple," Gypsy murmured to him under her breath.

"Yeah, in your dreams," Jess shot back, lifting a dark eyebrow menacingly. "Brennifer was way too alike to ever work out long-term. Beautiful, smart, successful… blablabla." She waved her hand around in annoyance. "Looks good on paper, but in the end, it was the crazy adoption-machine woman with the thousand tattoos who got the guy, right?"

Shannon opened her mouth to protest, but Jess waved her away again. "Face it." She shrugged. "In the end, the good ones always run off with the baddies." Here, a smirk slid over Jess' face, her voice cutting like a guillotine through the air. "You of all people, should know what I mean."

Gypsy winced.

Tears immediately sprang to Shannon's eyes. Three years ago or not, she'd dated Tommy for seven months and everyone knew that she _still _wasn't over him. He asked her out sometimes, for Hogsmeade or an after-Quidditch party, but Shannon's pride always prevented her from saying yes. She'd been burned badly once and wasn't about to let it happen again.

"I'm going to bed," she announced, voice shaking, and disappeared up to the dorms, leaving only silence behind.

Remus shook his head, disapproval evident in his eyes as he cast Jess a reprieving glance. James and Sirius, who hadn't been able to follow the whole Brad and Jennifer plus adoption-machine woman, but had been quite able to understand what Jess' last line had meant, were keeping their mouths shut for once as well. Peter was staring at the ground, yawning in tiredness.

"Sometimes you're a bitch, Jess," Ellie said quietly, the tone of light disgust clear to everyone.

Jess met her look square-on. "Only sometimes? That's disappointing," she drawled.

Ellie threw down the magazine she'd been holding, her face reddening. "Good night, everyone." Shoulders straight and back stiff, she went upstairs as well.

"I feel very popular tonight." A grin lifted the corners of Jess' mouth. She wasn't the least bit disturbed by everything that had happened. As far as she was concerned, Shannon was a weak whiny bitch, and the only reason why she tolerated the mostly shy and easily embarrassed Ellie, was because of Gypsy.

"You were being kind of mean," Gypsy pointed out. Shannon was more Lily's friend than hers, but she still felt a bit guilty for not speaking up.

Jess lifted a shoulder in a shrug. "Whatever." She glanced up coyly at Remus from under her eyelashes. "Aren't you going to go up after Ellie? I've seen the way you look at her." Leaning forward, her inky hair shimmering under the light of the fire, she placed a hand on Remus' thigh. "Those longing glances whenever you think she's not looking at you… the way you freeze up whenever she walks past you… It's all very, very romantic." Her hand casually slid higher up. "Then again… are you sure she's the best you can do?"

A beat, and then… "You don't know when to quit," Remus said coolly, his tone colder than ice. He stood up, Jess' hand falling down uselessly, and walked to the staircase. Nothing about his posture betrayed how angry he was, but Gypsy was fairly certain that there was a storm raging on the inside. Jess had just tried to seduce him, while revealing the girl he liked and badmouthing her all within seconds. There was no way Remus wasn't angry. Peter ran off after him.

"And then there were four," Jess said dryly.

Gypsy bit her lip and looked down. She hated it when Jess was in a mood like this. Remus was right on one part, Jess never did know when to quit. Whenever she got started, she kept raging on and on, careless as to whom she might hurt in the process.

Jessica Ford never backed down.

Sirius narrowed his eyes slightly, but Jess interrupted him before he could even start reprimanding her. "Don't you dare start on me," she warned him. "Besides—" she turned to James "—aren't you curious as to where I was going with the whole Brennifer comparison to Lily and Jason?"

James immediately perked up at the notice of Lily's name.

"Thought so." Jess grinned like a Cheshire-cat, eyes gleaming in satisfaction. "I really said it all before, actually," she started, casually twirling a strand of hair around her finger. "But as you two pure-blooded idiots clearly didn't understand the whole concept of Brad and Jennifer, Hollywood's hottest ex-couple, I'll have to use another example."

Gypsy rolled her eyes to the ceiling. There was no question as to which couple Jess was going to use.

Eyes lit up, Jess continued, "Shannon White and Tommy Chace. She's the star-chaser of the Gryffindor team, he's the best Beater Ravenclaw has ever had. They like quiet evenings, hanging on the couch together and all that other stuff that bores the crap out of me. They're both cat persons – God knows why because those animals are only good for old spinsters if you ask me– and fiercely dislike those drooling beasts us normal people call dogs. See where I'm going with this?"

James frowned, as always extremely attentive on the subject of Lily. "Er, they like the same things?"

Jess did an exaggerated slow-clap. "Exactly. They're the same person, basically. Only he has a dick and she, hopefully, has not. Nice? Check. Passionate? Don't think so." She stretched out slowly, showing off the tanned skin on her stomach. "And in the end… a relationship without any kind of passion doesn't survive. Which is exactly why Tommy and I were naked in the broom-closet that one day he decided he wanted a bit more adventure in his life and why Brad ditched Jen to hook up with Angelina."

It was silent for a second, and Jess sighed loudly in frustration. "Don't tell me. You don't get it."

James looked bewildered. "No, I do, but I don't see what any of this has to do with Lily and—" he choked, apparently not capable of uttering the name of the new bane of his existence.

Jess rolled her eyes impatiently. "Lily and Jason _are _Shannon and Tommy, you sodding idiot. They'll have a nice time for a while, but in the end, they're going to want more from their relationship than there's ever going to be. And as if that isn't enough, Lily's a bit arrogant and quick to look down on someone – oh, shut up James, you know it's true – and Jason's exactly the same. No one likes to see their own bad points in their boy- or girlfriend. It's going to start annoying them sooner or later."

"I hope sooner," James grumbled, and Gypsy silently agreed. She had her doubts, however, with Jess' speech. Jason and Lily couldn't keep their hands off one another – wasn't that the definition of passionate?

She scrunched up her nose in dislike. _Passionate_, really. Nothing good ever came of that word. She hated it whenever in books the author used passionate to describe a kiss and now she was part of a conversation in which it was called the most important thing for a couple to survive. As if.

Sirius was laughing at Jess. "You sure you're a witch and not some incarnation of Oprah? Merlin, it makes a guy wonder what you do in your free time… for a girl who calls her bad, you've been awfully busy with dissecting relationships."

Jess neatly clipped him over the head, scowling. "Oprah's still alive, wanker. And I can't help it if I'm more observant than the rest of you."

Sirius just smiled in a secretive way, making the hairs on Gypsy's neck stand on end. "Oh, I wouldn't say _that_," he murmured softly, so that only Gypsy could hear him.

She stared at him, wide-eyed, as he grinned smugly, eyes smirking. But… what did he mean by that? He couldn't know anything, could he?

A second later, the moment was forgotten, as he stood up and stretched slowly, making sure everyone could see the tanned muscles underneath his shirt. Gypsy suppressed a smile, as she remembered how Jess had done the exact same thing a couple of minutes ago. Showoffs, all of them.

"I'm going up as well." Sirius leaned forward to give Jess and Gypsy a goodnight-kiss. Gypsy inhaled his scent of shampoo and soap, vaguely wondering if he'd found a secret shower on the train or something. Or maybe he'd put on some really, really good aftershave. "Important day tomorrow and all…"

James nodded his head fiercely in agreement. "Pranking Slytherins…"

"Kidnapping Mrs. Norris…"

"Finding out a way to dye Dumbledore's beard all pink – I still don't understand why our spells never work on him, by the way…"

Knowing that this could go on for forever, Gypsy held up her hands in defeat. "Stop!"

Jess picked up a pillow from the couch and threw it at the two boys. They laughed, but quickly walked off – Sirius upstairs, James to the portrait to leave for his Head Dormitory – as Jess picked up a second pillow threateningly, tapping it with her wand to change it into a large stone.

Satisfied, Jess transfigured the pillow back, swinging her legs over the arm of the couch. "So… Gypsy," she said.

"So… Jess," Gypsy mocked.

"If you don't stop pining over Jason by next week, I swear to God I'll—"

Gypsy choked on her spit – very attractive, she thought sarcastically – and sputtered out, "What do you mean? Was I that obvious? Merlin, no. Who else noticed?"

Jess glared at her, annoyed. "Relax, all right? No one but me noticed, I think. But Sirius did ask me if you were fighting with Jason after the train ride, because _apparently _you were pretending to be asleep the second Jason set foot in the compartment. Back then, I didn't know he was there with _Lily _of course…" Jess muttered something under her breath. "So I told him I didn't know. But you, missy-who-normally-never-stops-talking, fell _completely_ silent the moment the subject landed on the new Golden Couple. It was suspicious to say the least."

Gypsy crossed her arms stubbornly, her mouth a thin line. "I wasn't pretending to be asleep," she lied. How had Sirius noticed that anyway?

_So that's what he'd meant earlier…_

"Whatever," Jess said bluntly. "Look, all I'm saying is that you better clean up your act soon – unless you want people to notice you're in love with Jase, of course – because it was blatantly obvious how you felt about the whole thing. Did you know you grimaced every single time someone said Jason's name in the same sentence as Lily?"

Gypsy blushed. "Er…"

"Yeah, didn't think so." Jess jumped off the couch and suddenly scowled. "Damn it, I hope Ellie or Shannon didn't steal the bed by the window. I'll kill them."

Gypsy trailed after Jess, still red-faced from Jess' speech. She was a bit disappointed that Jess hadn't tried to comfort her, but on the other hand, it was _Jess_. If she wanted comfort she wouldn't get it from the girl who didn't believe in love. _Nevertheless_, Gypsy said to herself as she crawled into bed, pulling the blanket up to her chin, _tomorrow I'm going to do my best to act normal. I don't need a guy to be happy anyway. What do I care if he's dating Gryffindor's most perfect girl? Romance is overrated. _

She groaned. She had a feeling she was going to need a lot of those mental pep-talks before she actually believed them.

-

_Thanks for reading! And thanks to everyone who reviewed the first chapter!_


End file.
